Sunday, April 26, 2009

The world is not a stage

Tonight I took in a play, well, two. Below I proffer a few reasons why visiting contemporary theatre chafes me so.

Having to pointedly ignore embarrassing exhibitionists who spin about in circles with arms askew in the foyer during the interval as if they were some halcyon flower-child of the sixties.

Having to pointedly ignore embarrassing exhibitionists who project their unilateral conversations as if the foyer were a stage for their fulsome overweening monologues.

Having to endure self-conscious sex scenes and prurient diatribes because the director believes such things to be terrifically progressive—Lally Katz’s works are a prime offenders. Having also to sit in the dark next to strangers who squirm about lustily in their seats I find rather disagreeable.

One thing I do like is determining who in a pride of females dressed in facsimiles of one another (tan leather Oxfords, tight jeans, red knitted jumper and tan tooled-leather bag) is the matriarch, whom the other girls defer to, and defer they simply must seeing as they subscribe to a dress code.


  1. I understand where you are coming from. A few months ago I attended a Melbourne Symphony Orchestra performance. During interval the uber trendy connoisseurs of fine music were loudly expressing their interpretation of the performance thus far. These creatures were boldly trying to lure attention. They wanted to be seen as knowledgeable of the arts, thus placing themselves high in the pecking order. Their stage is the foyer, and their stage will always be the foyer. Oh I despise the despicable attention seeker.

    Lucky for me the actors in the foyer were mostly attired in black. Yes there were berets aplenty, but not a ghastly sequined Primark job in sight. I feel you pain. Tight jeans and Oxfords? How that uniform reminds me of the fashion blog doyenne. Note to self: burn any Oxfords found in my closet.

  2. Dear Ms Vitriol,

    I cannot help but wonder if you pen your venom with such a wide lexicon automatically? And please know, I ask the question in earnest; I am actually interested to know if turns of phrase such as "prurient diatribes" and "churlish coxcomb" are part of your every day speech?

    Yours unfacetiously,


  3. Dear Adriana,

    Of course I do not always speak as I write. Although, yes, 'churlish coxcomb' has been known to slip into my prattle. I know few writers whose complete spectrum of known words enters their daily speech.

    As most writers, I enjoy words and I enjoy using words of varying hues, I'd rather not limit myself to the moribund cant of a highschooler.