Friday, April 10, 2009

“Fashions, after all, are only induced epidemics.”

Why the fuck is fur careening down the cat walk once more? Why are erstwhile ignored ratty mink stoles suddenly generating bids on eBay? Why are revolting pelts being fashioned from gorilla hair? I am just too shocked.

Insipid Gwyneth Paltrow is exhibiting yet another of her ad hoc personalities—from morose wunderkind, to misunderstood, droll poetess, to vocal vegetarian, to preppy ambassador of
luxury label Tod’s. Ensconced in fox fur and an assortment of dead things, she is touting to all the ingenuous, pliable dull-young-things—those who announce that they actually have ‘style icons’—that fur is a small extravagance, something to covet in these times of economic doldrums—and as we know, a girl likes to have her ‘little luxuries’ in recessions. Fur is no longer the tenure of the truly well-heeled, any floozy with a credit card can by herself some cheap Chinese fox or bunny and not cast her mind to how a cache of animals had their coats excruciatingly expelled from their bodies whilst they were alive and remained skinless and breathing for many minutes after.

It seems as if campaigning was just another pose of the impressionable fashion drones. Remember those ‘90s PETA advertisements ‘I’d rather go naked than wear fur’ that adorned every glossy magazine? Remember Giorgio Armani declaring he’d never use fur again? I even recently noticed that the over-crowded mess-hall that is Fitzroy’s Vegie Bar is now serving up chicken—it seems vegetarianism belongs with the bar’s dated ‘90s décor.

I cannot believe people sample values and lifestyles for fashion. We’ve had lesbian (strictly public pashing) for fashion, I’m an intellectual: I wear spectacles. What other egregious posture is next, prosthetic appendages?

During the war-time recessions women drew a kohl stripe the length of their calves to simulate stocking seams. If times get tougher will we see women saving packets of their hair and pet clippings to paste crudely with horse-glue to their balding tippets and coats? I do hope so.


  1. Hello Ms Vitriol,

    Just found your blog. Must say it's amusing and well written.

    Fur - I've been thinking just the same thing.

    People are buying up vintage fur as a guilt-free alternative! What the fuck?! The practices involved in slaughtering animals for that 50 year old coat were even more barbaric than those employed today.

    You're right, all these 'fashion floozies' don't care. Maybe they would if asked if they'd like to make a hat out of their cat.

    Thanks, Imogen

  2. ....and the bewildered herd follows. If it's touted as trendy then the gaggle of brainless bitches will follow. If certain iconic bloggers smeared themselves with the intestines of some poor creature then expect the herd to do the same. All very boring. What do you expect from people who are obsessed with appearances? Nothing with substance I hope.

  3. I'd personally rather have my pubes wrapped around my shoulders than adorn expensive/inexpensive roadkill.

    Fur - ugh!

  4. Marywin - They unfortunately cannot wear a pube cape as they all Brazilian. Just like Carrie! ugh.

  5. Pubic hair maintenence--that is a contentious subject that I have been meaning to pull a comb through on my blog. Truly.

  6. Patrizia - I could hug you!

    Ms Vitriol - Yes, please bring to light the ridiculous preening and maintenance that is thrust at us, or more insultingly, to our daughters in order to be accepted/liked/popular. As a mother of a three year old daughter, it makes my blood boil to see this blatant propaganda polluting young girls mind. That is why my husband and I don't watch television anymore, the bullshit is just too deep.


  7. Marywin - hugs are straight back at you. My husband and I don't watch television either, well okay, we watch documentaries when they are on (we all like astronomy in this house).

    Ms Vitriol - I look forward to a post describing the barbaric practices of Western women who all want to be porn stars. I hope you will denounce the porn industry and the people (both male and female) who watch this abomination. Funny how todays foolish women believe that being a porn star is empowering! They are making life horrendous for the rest of us and our daughters.

  8. It is a shabby state of affairs, I will admit. I am not an advocator of porn, per se, but I do find I am charmed by those Victorian photgraphs of flappers shyly exposing the band of their stockings. Although I don't imagine charmed is the intended outcome of modern pornography.

    I am concerned for today's girls. Twilight fever, stripper fever, agh.

  9. 'People sample values and lifestyles for fashion' - yes, I have pondered this line of thinking before, we are like sheep easily led to the slaughter. I'm still undecided about the environmental crisis. What is saving the environment and what is merely lining the coffers of big business. I'm suspicious of those shrunken boxes of washing powder that have in turn tripled in price.